The Bad Luck Den

Care for a bite of bad luck?

August 19, 2014 2:57 pm

herzspalter:

Commission for acidgreenflames who asked for this amazing crackpairing. Thank you so much for commissioning me, this was really funny to draw!

(via til-all-are-one)

2:54 pm 11:32 am

indigoneversleeps:

mwolf0epsilon:

nanibgal:

howardhill101:

amymexy:

mr-egbutt:

ascenti:

totallyfubar:

paragonpostcards:

helioscentrifuge:

Sorry not sorry.

The men of tumblr unite. Because this is more than fighting the patriarchy, this is fighting for the voice of the people.

image

*Phone rings*

image

THE FUCK DID YOU SAY THE PATRIARCHY WAS UP TO?

image

I’M ON MY WAY.

*Banana Rings*

Who is this how did you get this numb—THE PATRIARCHY IS DOING WHTA

SAVE SOME PATRIARCH BLOOD FOR US

3:01PM SYDNEY TIME

Hello?

Patriarchy WHAT?!

AW HELL NO

I’M COMIN YOU MOTHERFUCKERS I DON’T EVEN CARE IF THEY DON’T LET ME ON A PLANE

Fucking bro strider come out!! Omg HAHAHAAH I love theses guys

Meanwhile In England……


"Jolly great bit of Tea"

-Phone Rings- 

"THE PATRIARCHY DOING WHAT!?!!?!?!"

"Those Bloody Wankers!!!!!!"

"It Looks Like Tea Time Is Going To Have To Wait"

"It’s A Jolly Good Thing I kept My Old Equipment…."

"All Right Old Chaps, Im On My Way!!!"

"TALLY-HO!!!!!"

I just reblogged this, but IT GOT BETTER.

Ladies and gentlemen, the British.

Fucking tally ho omggggg

(via staroffires)

9:28 am

ATTENTION

savanaugh:

I AM ON A MISSION. I AM GOING TO FOLLOW EVERY FUCKING BLOG ON THIS SITE. ALL OF THEM. HELP ME ACHIEVE THIS GOAL, INTERNET STRANGERS, BY REBLOGGING THIS POST AND I WILL FOLLOW ALL WHO REBLOG IT. E V E R Y O N E.

(via brightpinkroomba)

August 18, 2014 11:07 pm

Let’s play a game!

indigirl94:

dogslug:

sochineya:

kiango:

dbvictoria:

roboticonography:

blackestglass:

boneycircus:

foxberryblue:

Stand where you are, look around, and list whatever liquidy thing is closest to you. This is now your fanfic lube.

XD

Actual lube. WINNING. (Possibly TMI?? OOPS)

Um. Yogurt. Oh dear.

Ice water.  Um.  Brrrr?  (Thank goodness this didn’t come through my dash two nights ago or it would have been the dog’s flea medication.)

Fucking iced tea.

Eye makeup remover…?

….cheese sauce. oh god.

hAND SANITIZER N O

11:06 pm
tr0llop:

submissivefeminist:

LISTEN UP YOU KINKY FUCKS. SOME FOLLOWERS REQUESTED A REVIEW OF THE HITACHI SO HOLD ON TO YOUR HATS BECAUSE YOU’RE GOING TO FUCKING GET ONE.
THIS HERE IS THE HITACHI MAGIC WAND. YOU KNOW WHY THEY CALL IT THAT? BECAUSE IT’S FUCKING MAGICAL. IT’S A JAPANESE “MASSAGER” BUT WE ALL KNOW THAT SOME SMART-ASS BITCH WAS LIKE, “THIS WOULD FEEL SO GOOD ON MY CUNT” AND THIS REVOLUTIONARY SEX TOY WAS BORN! IT’S LITERALLY SO POWERFUL THAT NO BATTERIES CAN MATCH ITS STRENGTH SO YOU JUST PLUG THIS FUCKER RIGHT INTO THE WALL AND GO APE-SHIT.
IF YOUR GENITALS ARE USED TO LITTLE BULLET VIBRATORS THIS IS NOT THE TOY FOR YOU BECAUSE YOU’RE GOING TO SAND YOUR FUCKING CLIT/DICK OFF IF YOU DON’T HAVE WAND-RESISTANCE FROM OTHER WAND VIBRATORS. I REPEAT, THIS IS NOT FOR SEX NEWBIES BECAUSE YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY DIE FROM SHOCK. THEY WILL FIND YOU IN A PUDDLE OF CUM WITH A GRIN ON YOUR FACE BUT NO ONE WANTS TO DIE SO JUST PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THIS MONSTER.
THOSE OF US WITH VAGINAS WHO CAN SQUIRT ARE IN ONE FUCKING HELL OF A RIDE. YOU’RE GOING TO WANT TO GRAB A TOWEL OR EIGHT TO COVER YOUR MATTRESS UNLESS YOU WANT GOING TO SLEEP TO BE A DROWNING HAZARD. ALSO, YOU SHOULD BE AWARE THAT USING THIS TO SQUIRT MAY CAUSE DEHYDRATION WHICH ALSO INCREASES YOUR CHANCES OF DEATH.
THE ONLY THING I DON’T LIKE ABOUT THIS THING IS THAT A) ALL MY OUTLETS ARE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF MY ROOM AND I LITERALLY HAVE TO HUMP A PILLOW ON THE FLOOR IN A CORNER BUT FUCK IT—IT’S SO GOOD, AND B) THE HEAD IS QUITE LARGE AND DOESN’T FOCUS ALL THE VIBRATIONS TO YOUR CLIT. BUT I GUESS THAT’S NECESSARY BECAUSE, SERIOUSLY, OTHERWISE IT MAY JUST FALL OFF AND NO ONE WANTS THAT.
IF YOU’RE A SUBMISSIVE AND YOUR DOMINANT IS INTO KINKY SHIT LIKE FORCED ORGASMS, YOU BETTER FUCKING NOT BUY THIS TOY BECAUSE YOU MIGHT LITERALLY DIE FROM ORGASMS. IT SHOULD COME WITH LIKE A MILLION WARNINGS ABOUT ORGASM-RELATED DEATHS BUT UNFORTUNATELY THEY KEEP DENYING THE KINKY SHIT PEOPLE DO WITH THIS TOY AND JUST WARN YOU NOT TO USE IT IN THE TUB. DUH.
BASICALLY, THIS THING WILL PROBABLY KILL YOU. I’M SURE PEOPLE HAVE DIED AS A RESULT OF CUMMING TOO HARD OR TOO MUCH SO THAT’S WHY NO BITCH-ASS PUSSIES SHOULD OWN THIS MACHINE. IF YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE IT YOU BETTER FUCKING PROVE IT. 
PREPARE YOURSELF AND ORDER THIS FUCKING BEAUTY. YOU CAN BUY IT HERE IF YOU WANT. AND I KNOW YOU FUCKERS ARE GOING TO USE MY CODE, “V2V”, UNDER “PARTNER CODES” AT CHECKOUT AND GET 15% OFF BECAUSE ONLY AN ASSHOLE DOESN’T WANT TO SAVE MONEY. AND DON’T FORGET YOUR FREE GIFT AND LUBE.
GO FORTH AND CUM HARDER/BETTER/FASTER/STRONGER, MY LITTLE WHORES.
xx SF

this is the best thing I’ve ever read omg

tr0llop:

submissivefeminist:

LISTEN UP YOU KINKY FUCKS. SOME FOLLOWERS REQUESTED A REVIEW OF THE HITACHI SO HOLD ON TO YOUR HATS BECAUSE YOU’RE GOING TO FUCKING GET ONE.

THIS HERE IS THE HITACHI MAGIC WAND. YOU KNOW WHY THEY CALL IT THAT? BECAUSE IT’S FUCKING MAGICAL. IT’S A JAPANESE “MASSAGER” BUT WE ALL KNOW THAT SOME SMART-ASS BITCH WAS LIKE, “THIS WOULD FEEL SO GOOD ON MY CUNT” AND THIS REVOLUTIONARY SEX TOY WAS BORN! IT’S LITERALLY SO POWERFUL THAT NO BATTERIES CAN MATCH ITS STRENGTH SO YOU JUST PLUG THIS FUCKER RIGHT INTO THE WALL AND GO APE-SHIT.

IF YOUR GENITALS ARE USED TO LITTLE BULLET VIBRATORS THIS IS NOT THE TOY FOR YOU BECAUSE YOU’RE GOING TO SAND YOUR FUCKING CLIT/DICK OFF IF YOU DON’T HAVE WAND-RESISTANCE FROM OTHER WAND VIBRATORS. I REPEAT, THIS IS NOT FOR SEX NEWBIES BECAUSE YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY DIE FROM SHOCK. THEY WILL FIND YOU IN A PUDDLE OF CUM WITH A GRIN ON YOUR FACE BUT NO ONE WANTS TO DIE SO JUST PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THIS MONSTER.

THOSE OF US WITH VAGINAS WHO CAN SQUIRT ARE IN ONE FUCKING HELL OF A RIDE. YOU’RE GOING TO WANT TO GRAB A TOWEL OR EIGHT TO COVER YOUR MATTRESS UNLESS YOU WANT GOING TO SLEEP TO BE A DROWNING HAZARD. ALSO, YOU SHOULD BE AWARE THAT USING THIS TO SQUIRT MAY CAUSE DEHYDRATION WHICH ALSO INCREASES YOUR CHANCES OF DEATH.

THE ONLY THING I DON’T LIKE ABOUT THIS THING IS THAT A) ALL MY OUTLETS ARE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF MY ROOM AND I LITERALLY HAVE TO HUMP A PILLOW ON THE FLOOR IN A CORNER BUT FUCK IT—IT’S SO GOOD, AND B) THE HEAD IS QUITE LARGE AND DOESN’T FOCUS ALL THE VIBRATIONS TO YOUR CLIT. BUT I GUESS THAT’S NECESSARY BECAUSE, SERIOUSLY, OTHERWISE IT MAY JUST FALL OFF AND NO ONE WANTS THAT.

IF YOU’RE A SUBMISSIVE AND YOUR DOMINANT IS INTO KINKY SHIT LIKE FORCED ORGASMS, YOU BETTER FUCKING NOT BUY THIS TOY BECAUSE YOU MIGHT LITERALLY DIE FROM ORGASMS. IT SHOULD COME WITH LIKE A MILLION WARNINGS ABOUT ORGASM-RELATED DEATHS BUT UNFORTUNATELY THEY KEEP DENYING THE KINKY SHIT PEOPLE DO WITH THIS TOY AND JUST WARN YOU NOT TO USE IT IN THE TUB. DUH.

BASICALLY, THIS THING WILL PROBABLY KILL YOU. I’M SURE PEOPLE HAVE DIED AS A RESULT OF CUMMING TOO HARD OR TOO MUCH SO THAT’S WHY NO BITCH-ASS PUSSIES SHOULD OWN THIS MACHINE. IF YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE IT YOU BETTER FUCKING PROVE IT. 

PREPARE YOURSELF AND ORDER THIS FUCKING BEAUTY. YOU CAN BUY IT HERE IF YOU WANT. AND I KNOW YOU FUCKERS ARE GOING TO USE MY CODE, “V2V”, UNDER “PARTNER CODES” AT CHECKOUT AND GET 15% OFF BECAUSE ONLY AN ASSHOLE DOESN’T WANT TO SAVE MONEY. AND DON’T FORGET YOUR FREE GIFT AND LUBE.

GO FORTH AND CUM HARDER/BETTER/FASTER/STRONGER, MY LITTLE WHORES.

xx SF

this is the best thing I’ve ever read omg

(via captainoftoast)

1:23 pm

askerquestioner

badlucklynx: ♥ How do you write like thaaaat! /jealous

winterxrose:

i always thought my handwriting was a bit uneven but thank you omg :^D

ohhhh you have never seen mine lol. Trust me, you don’t know uneven until you’ve seen mine. Also: Pretty!!!!

August 17, 2014 7:11 pm 7:05 pm
kauvara:

kauvara:

THAT IS ONE UGLY BANNER!Hello friends! I’m Teresa and while on vacation I hit 300 followers!As a thank you, I decided to give away a Faerie Paint Brush! Below are some rules that are p genetic. Enjoy and good luck!
RULES:
Reblog or like or do both (you do you boo.) Remember though, if you reblog multiple times the note only shows up one time.
You don’t have to be following me to win! I really don’t care about gaining followers, I’m just doing this as a thank you. (I am a 100% neoblog though so wink wink)
reblog my selfie
Though it’s not a rule, I’d prefer if you tagged this post as “giveaway” as a courtesy to your followers!
You need to be ok with giving me your username. I’ll probably neomail you once or twice, blah blah blah, you know the deal.
Uh I’ll be picking the winner with a random number generator so everything is legit. The giveaway ends on September 3rd at 12/noon EST (aka my birthday).
Thank you friends so much for being a part of my life and tumblr adventure and I hope everybody has a great neo/tumblr experience.
Good luck everybody!

reminder I’m doing a giveaway even though I posted this a few days ago!

kauvara:

kauvara:

THAT IS ONE UGLY BANNER!
Hello friends! I’m Teresa and while on vacation I hit 300 followers!
As a thank you, I decided to give away a Faerie Paint Brush! Below are some rules that are p genetic. Enjoy and good luck!

RULES:

  1. Reblog or like or do both (you do you boo.) Remember though, if you reblog multiple times the note only shows up one time.
  2. You don’t have to be following me to win! I really don’t care about gaining followers, I’m just doing this as a thank you. (I am a 100% neoblog though so wink wink)
  3. reblog my selfie
  4. Though it’s not a rule, I’d prefer if you tagged this post as “giveaway” as a courtesy to your followers!
  5. You need to be ok with giving me your username. I’ll probably neomail you once or twice, blah blah blah, you know the deal.

Uh I’ll be picking the winner with a random number generator so everything is legit. The giveaway ends on September 3rd at 12/noon EST (aka my birthday).

Thank you friends so much for being a part of my life and tumblr adventure and I hope everybody has a great neo/tumblr experience.

Good luck everybody!

reminder I’m doing a giveaway even though I posted this a few days ago!

(via cybertroneliteguard)

5:23 pm 4:34 pm
wherehaveallthescullysgone:

sezja:

gotothemattresses:

thefrogman:

In Soviet Russia, kitten adopts YOU.

You can’t possibly say no to that.

"I HAVE SELECTED MY HUMAN. WE CAN NOW LEAVE THIS PLACE.  HUMAN.  SIGN THE REQUIRED PAPERWORK."

I’ve been chosen!!

The Claaaaaaw

wherehaveallthescullysgone:

sezja:

gotothemattresses:

thefrogman:

In Soviet Russia, kitten adopts YOU.

You can’t possibly say no to that.

"I HAVE SELECTED MY HUMAN. WE CAN NOW LEAVE THIS PLACE.  HUMAN.  SIGN THE REQUIRED PAPERWORK."

I’ve been chosen!!

The Claaaaaaw

(Source: 4gifs, via indigirl94)

4:05 pm

askerquestioner

purpleeyedprincess: Fennekin and Sylveon pelase.

thatsplicingadventure:

Super cute pastel foxes are also A-Okay in my book.

12:39 am
nvvitcal:

jamandslampora:

narutomakis:

injellyfish:

ahkmenra-h:

hellabitcoins:

sansaspark:

magconbabe-matt:

This shit better work

HAH I REBLOGGED THIS LAST NIGHT AND LOOK WHAT I GOT FROM MY DAD TODAY OUT OF THE BLUE


what if we all got paper lol

GUYS I REBLOGGED THIS LAST NIGHT AND I JUST GOT $150 

I am not even kidding but I am reblogging this twice in a row because I just got $275.

GUYS MY MOM JUST WALKED INTO MY ROOM AND TOLD ME I WON A $1000 SCHOLARSHIP I AM SCREAMING

still waiting tbh….

I just think this is cool tbh

Soooo…does it count if I mention I get paid every friday and so that extra friday will be enough money to pay rent for next month? ‘cause yeah.

nvvitcal:

jamandslampora:

narutomakis:

injellyfish:

ahkmenra-h:

hellabitcoins:

sansaspark:

magconbabe-matt:

This shit better work

HAH I REBLOGGED THIS LAST NIGHT AND LOOK WHAT I GOT FROM MY DAD TODAY OUT OF THE BLUE

what if we all got paper lol
GUYS I REBLOGGED THIS LAST NIGHT AND I JUST GOT $150 

I am not even kidding but I am reblogging this twice in a row because I just got $275.

GUYS MY MOM JUST WALKED INTO MY ROOM AND TOLD ME I WON A $1000 SCHOLARSHIP I AM SCREAMING

still waiting tbh….

I just think this is cool tbh

Soooo…does it count if I mention I get paid every friday and so that extra friday will be enough money to pay rent for next month? ‘cause yeah.

(via luxicorps)

12:35 am

djsckatzen:

nessydesu:

cyrilelijah:

please watch this ad for a squirting dildo called Buster McNut

no. you’re lying to me. this isn’t real.

please watch this video.

…It’s like an old 90’s tv show with it’s level of cheesyness.

(via indigirl94)

August 16, 2014 8:46 pm

cupsnake:

You know what the Green Heron is basically the best heron because it is like 90% neck so when it is all folded down it looks like a giant head with wings and legs

image

but then suddenly ZOOP

image

fucking green herrons

(via indigirl94)